Fish Burgers and F***ing C***s.

An archive addition.  I have archives, from when I was writing posts but not actually posting them.  This is from last spring, before Daughter 1.0 turned 18.  She’s far more reasonable now, you know, ‘cause she’s an adult (and also has that terrific boyfriend).

For those of you averse to foul language, please stop reading now.  For the rest of you ….
“You’re a fucking cunt!” Daughter 1.0  says to me through clenched teeth at the dinner table.  The meal is finished – Ahi tuna burgers (with fresh horseradish sauce) and roasted spring vegetables – and fortunately Daughter 2.0 and her guest, the sweetest most gentle girl (daughter of Ukrainian immigrants; nationally ranked rhythmic gymnast) have left the table and are safely behind 2.0’s closed bedroom door.
Tempers have been rising throughout dinner.  Finals are next week.  For 1.0, a high school Junior, these are the most important tests she will ever take, in her life.  “Don’t you understand that there will never be anything at all as important as these tests?  They will determine where I can get into college and so my entire future, and I don’t see you guys taking this seriously … at all.  I need complete quiet this weekend.  She can’t have people over.  They are terrible people anyway, stupid!”  2.0 has asked to have a group of classmates (can’t really call them friends because, as she says, she doesn’t have anything in common with any other freshmen) over on Saturday for a study session.  I have (foolishly) said yes.
“They can’t come over this weekend, I need …”
“Complete quiet, I know.  But what you really need is a good night’s sleep.  I thought you were going to take tonight off from studying and just try to rest.”  This had been the sensible plan that we came up with on the car ride home from school.  1.0 hadn’t had a good night sleep in at least a week.
“You are interrupting me!  You are not listening to me!”
“I’m sorry, it’s just I thought we had a plan for tonight  You need to go to sleep.”
“Study smarter, not harder,” I helpfully quip.
This is when she calls me a fucking cunt.  I eye the water glass in front of my daughter, decide that saving the Heath dinner plate should take priority and quickly clear it, along with my Husband’s plate and my own.
“Please don’t use that language,” I say sternly walking the plates to the kitchen sink.  Ice cubes (at least it wasn’t the glass) wiz by my head.
“1.0!” the Husband cries and I turn to see him taking the water glass out of harm’s way.  Not satisfied (oh I know this feeling so well, punch the wall, slam the door, throw the glass, anything to make the anger go away) 1.0 picks up the coke bottle thick glass votive from the wine barrel stave holder (I know) that lives in the center of our dining room table and hurls it at me.  It lands at my feet.  She storms to her room and slams the door.
“She’s a lunatic,” I grumble under my breath and start cleaning the kitchen.  I resist the urge to follow her into her bedroom and rail about the total lack of respect and appreciation.  Instead I growl to my Husband about how it’s time for her to move out, time for her to go to college.
Later, my Husband and I sit on the couch watching the Giant’s game when 1.0 comes out of her room and stomps down the stairs and out the front door.  I hear her car start and drive away.  I try calling her on the phone (don’t worry, she has hands-free integrated blue tooth) but she doesn’t answer.  In a couple of minutes I get a text:
Just sitting outside the house for a little
I look out the front window and yes, her car is back, parked in front of the house.
“That’s progress,” my Husband says.  “She removed herself from the situation.”
I didn’t point out that it was only after fucking cunt and thrown glass, because, well, this is progress.

Ahi Tuna Fish Burgers with Fresh Horseradish Sauce
4 4-6 ounce sushi grade ahi tuna steaks approximately 1 inch thick
Olive Oil
Kosher salt
Freshly ground pepper

1/2 cup creme fraiche
2 tablespoons mayonaise
1/4 cup freshly grated horseradish (or to taste)
Lemon juice from 1/2 lemon
White pepper

Shredded iceberg lettuce
Sliced tomatoes
Your favorite hot sauce

Soft hamburger buns (I like potato buns)

Sprinkle the steaks on both sides with salt and pepper and rub with olive oil.  Heat a gas grill to 400 degrees.
Combine the creme fraiche, mayonnaise, horseradish and lemon juice in a small bowl.  Season with salt and white pepper.
Grill tuna steaks on the hot grill, just searing the outside for 1 to 2 minutes per side.
Spread the horseradish sauce on the top and bottom of each bun.  Top the tuna steak with the shredded lettuce and tomatoes and sprinkle with hot sauce.

Roasted Spring Vegetables
Mixed spring vegetables (I used baby carrots, asparagus, spring onions)
Olive oil
Fresh black pepper
Kosher salt

Toss the vegetables with the oil and salt and pepper in a large bowl.  Spread the vegetables on a heavy duty rimmed cookie sheet.  Roast in a 400 degree oven until nicely browned, about 15 minutes.  I actually put them on the gas grill before grilling the tuna.  So simple, so delicious!

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